Who Are You?

He is peacefully sleeping.

I felt his cold sharp energy with frustration and pain.

I feel sad for him.

He wasn’t like this..

He wasn’t like this..

What happened..?

PTSD he says.

“Unable to come to term to my emotions

I am going to therapy, but I missed my appointment.”

He needs helps, but I can not give it to him, All I can do is listen.

He was never mine to heal, to be with.

He was always someone else’s.

At one point in my life, I wanted him.

I wanted to be with him. Thought about it, the man he could be.

He is far from ever becoming that man.

He lies asleep next to me. Gentle, breathing softly. Calm.

But my soul feels sadness, I feel his sadness.

It’s not one of fear but of frustration. I felt he wanted to tell me something but didn’t. His words came out as “I can’t..how he took you away from me.”

He tried to admit something but instead said he wanted to head hurt someone soo bad.

He moved to attempting to kiss me.

I couldn’t respond back

“You’re not well, you’re drunk” I said

“I will be, once you start kissing me back. Why aren’t you kissing me back”

I couldn’t.

He’s a far cry from ever becoming that man I wanted. That I hoped he could be.

He was unrecognizable, a homeless man, a man without a home. He was barren, frustrated, alone..unrecognizable.

The soul, the spirit I once knew, I met when we were children had been destroyed. Obliterated.

And yet he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t want to change.

Karma some say is the reason behind it all.

Now I have moved on, I feel pity for him.

He had me once, but he did not see me.

Oh how I wanted to be with him,

I really did. I cared, even could have loved him;

but life said, another will come.

And he did.

He has.

07/25/2023